What's the first thing you think of when you hear about Autism? Do you think of a family member or friend who have been affected by it? Do you think of a person that is emotional-less, no facial expression, no concept of real verses imagination, lack of eye contact, arm flapping? Do you think of Jenny McCarthy? Do you think of immunizations and their mercury levels? Do you think of genetics? What do you think of when you hear Autism?
I bet you didn't think of Parker. Yes, our very sweet Parker. Over the past couple months this has been a personal battle we have been faced with. Parker has struggled in certain areas his whole life however, in every area he has struggled, we have been able to help him find a way to overcome his struggle. This all changed at the beginning of this school year. Parker was having a very hard time at school. He was having tantrums, he was yelling, screaming, and crying at his teacher and classmates. He was being defiant. We were getting phone calls and emails almost daily about his problems at school. This was something completely new for us. Parker never once got in trouble in kindergarten. We have struggled at home with those very issues but never once had he struggled with it at school too. Obviously, we were very concerned and more quickly than I ever wished, we got to know his teacher. We had meetings with her and both got on the same page with how to handle certain situations with Parker. Ultimately though, Joe and I knew it was time to get someone much smarter than us and his teacher involved in figuring out what was going on with Parker. We initially set up an appointment to talk to Parker's pediatrician. While I love his pediatrician, I really do for the majority of the time, this was something even the pediatrician said after meeting with us, listening to our concerns, looking back over previous conversations we have had regarding Parker (going all the way back to 18 months old), the pediatrician said he too believed we need to get someone smarter than him involved. He referred us onto a psychiatrist. After a questionnaire meeting, we met with the psychiatrist. We only met with him for one hour and during that hour he reviewed our questionnaire and asked us questions and opinions on how Parker handled things, even though Parker was sitting in the very same room as us, and this "doctor" made an official diagnoses of Parker having Autism Spectrum Disorder.
So, what does this mean? Basically, it means Parker meets the criteria of having Autism however he doesn't meet all the criteria. There are certain areas of Parker that very much show he is an autistic child and other parts of him that show he is a very normal six year old boy. We were told Parker was very high functioning and to continue with what we are currently doing as it seems to be helping his outbursts and we left with a diagnoses from this doctor and that was the end.
Or so we thought....
Joe and I stewed over this for quite some time. We were not pleased how quickly this diagnoses was made without even observing Parker on a one and one situation. They didn't ever ask to see anything about him at school or involve his teacher or the AEA in any of the discussions regarding Parker and his well-being or success. Needless to say, Joe and I decided after seeking some advice, we need a second opinion.
Are we in denial something is wrong or Parker has Autism? No, not at all, however we want to make sure. If he doesn't and this was an official diagnoses that he had done, which it is official, this will be with him on his medical record the rest of his life and could possibly affect him professionally some day. This was not what we wanted if the diagnoses is not accurate. This caused us to seek out another doctor on our own...starting the whole process over.
We are now meeting with a new group of doctors and they are still working on their diagnoses of Parker. They have met with him once officially and had three observations of him also. After two more official appointments then we will decide at that point by going over the "checklist" if Parker has Autism Spectrum Disorder.
This has been very hard and challenging thing for our family. It has been very eye opening for Joe and I. We have had to learn to handle certain situations completely different than we have in the past. It is requiring us to reteach ourselves how to be a parent.
While this process is not complete, we ask that you please keep Parker in your thoughts and prayers. We also ask that you keep our daughters also in your thoughts and prayers. They are very much affected by everything that is going on and have taken much notice to how much more time we have had to spend with Parker. They realize it's not our fault or his fault but they want the same one on one time with us as he is getting and this has been very challenging for us to figure out. Three kids, two parents...time management is a talent, that's for sure!!
Thanksgiving will be here before we know it!! We are hosting here at our house with the traditional Thanksgiving meal...wish me luck, it's my first time making a turkey!!!
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